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Democrat Oath

Published in the RB Sun, August, 1998

By

Allen Polk Hemphill

 

I (Repeat your full name), being a good Democrat, believe that:

Webster Hubbell earned every dime of that $800,000 he was paid after his first conviction and before he entered prison… the 92 participants and witnesses who have fled the country or taken the Fifth Amendment in the Campaign Finance investigation is a plot by the Vast Right Wing Conspiracy…Billy Dale and the White House Travel office members deserved to be fired…the President and Monica Lewinsky were just "colleagues" as declared by Monica’s attorney…President Clinton never had sex with "that woman"…900 FBI files only on Republicans found in the White House were only a coincidence…Janet Reno acted properly in the death of 21 children at Waco…Hillary Clinton had no knowledge of the Rose Law Firm billing records found in her White House living quarters with only her fingerprints on them...the burial of M. Larry Lawrence in the National Cemetery in Arlington had nothing to do with his contributions to the Democratic Party…Betsy Wright was only joking when she said her job was to handle President Clinton’s "Bimbo Eruptions"…Leon Panetta was not serious when he referred to President Clinton’s "dark side" and to designing methods to keep women from being in the President’s company, alone…Webster Hubbell, Susan McDougal, and the late James McDougal are just the type of people I would select as my closest friends, and each of their felony convictions are political…being a barroom bouncer was a great background for Craig Livingstone to be appointed as Chief of Security for the White House…The seven existing Independent Counselors appointed to investigate the current Administration by Attorney General Janet Reno is a plot by Right Wing Extremists…President Clinton did not evade the draft while he was in college…Susan McDougal,is innocent of defrauding the government of $300,000, is innocent of defrauding Zubin Metta of another $300,000, and is standing on principle when refusing to testify before the Grand Jury…President Clinton did not lie when, on 60 Minutes, he denied a sexual relationship with Jennifer Flowers…President Clinton did not lie when, in his recent deposition, he confirmed a sexual relationship with Jennifer Flowers…the Task Force appointed by Hillary Clinton to launch the Medical Reform Initiative was not created in violation of Federal Law as declared by the Federal Judge…Willam Ginsurg is a great lawyer…Vernon Jordan got Monica a breakfast with the Ambassador to the United Nations, and a job with Revlon because she is a highly qualified and skilled individual…Bill McDougal always impressed me as the sort of person I would have as a business partner…Monica Lewensky’s 37 visits to the White House after her transfer to the Pentagon were to visit Betty Curry…there is nothing suspicious about Buddhist Nuns who have taken a vow of poverty giving $5,000 each to the Democratic Party…Hillary did not bill time that had been spent by Webster Hubbell…a sexual liaison between a boss and his subordinate in the office is inappropriate behavior, except in the White house…John Wong is in China visiting a sick aunt…Hillary Clinton’s huge windfall profit in the stock market in the 80s was the result of only good investing, and not part of the "80s greed" that she talked so much about (briefly)"…pictures of a convicted drug distributor and a Chinese arms merchant in the White House with President Clinton are a fake…there is no "controlling legal authority" barring the Vice-President from making fund-raising phone calls from his office… Henry Cisneros is a model family man and should have remained Secretary of Housing and Human Development…President Clinton has kept his pledge to "run the most ethical administration in history"…

There is more. But I would exceed the 500 word recommendation.

 

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Copyright 1998, 1999, 2000, 2001, 2002, 2003, 2004, 2005, 2006, 2007, 2008, 2009, 2010, 2011, 2012 by Allen Hemphill
Last modified: August 13, 2012